How to explain a child what pedophilia is 2017/03/10

This is one of the most difficult topics to write about, but after the umpteenth news in the television, my daughter asked me what does “abuse” mean in the same innocent way she almost always asks the meaning of some new words she has heard.

It’s wrong to deny the existence of pedophilia. Unfortunately, monsters really exist and we mustn’t hide it from children since we can’t lock them up in a glass ball to protect them from the evil present in this world

Talking to them about this uncomfortable theme will work as prevention and will make them react if they found themselves in a strange situation, to be vigilant and run before things get worse.

I think that the first thing to do is to ease the child by making them understand that they can tell everything that happens in their day to mom and dad: parents have the duty and privilege to protect their children and love them independently of the the bad or good things they do. You can tell EVERYTHING to mom and dad.

Often the pedophile blames the children for what happened and recommends not saying anything to their mom and dad; instead we must be very clear that it is exactly the contrary. Give confidence to our children and make them trust us.

Unfortunately, news tells us that the monster is hidden behind familiar faces and in the places we usually frequent: friendship is healthy only if it’s positive and not when we find ourselves in situations we can’t handle.

Even the strange person who gets ‘too’ close must awaken suspicion, but let’s not undermine the ‘fear of the next’ and let’s make our children understand that limits exist which mustn’t be surpassed at their ages with people they know or not know.

Explain that nobody has the right to touch their body if they themselves don’t want it.

Their body belongs only to them. The mother and father that helps them shower is normal, the doctor, which for normal health reasons, is a normal situation.

No one can touch them freely, especially in the parts covered by underwear. Underwear represent the limit which mark the delicate and personal zones. They’re not bad areas for being hidden or dirty, but only private areas. It’s essential that no adult asks to see or touch them. Or ask that they look or touch those same parts. If this happens, the child must tell mom and dad immediately what happened without fear. And we must believe them.

I admit that one thing I do wrong is make my little ones greet their grandparents or uncles with a kiss, I realize that sometimes they don’t want to and I insist. If they are obligated to practice this gesture of affection, they could even be persuaded in other much dangerous situations, never promise them a reward (candy, money...) since if you do it, this makes one of the classic methods that pedophiles use to convince the child.

If you are able to make your children learn some tricks about others’ behavior, you’ve given a small step forward to avoid the terrible plague of today’s civilization.